He that would the daughter win, Must with the mother first begin.

Understand the thought

Meaning in plain English

The saying advises winning a mother’s goodwill when seeking a relationship with her daughter. It treats family approval as useful, but such approval cannot replace the daughter’s own wishes and consent.

What the words are saying

Courtship is presented as involving the family as well as the two people directly concerned. Beginning with the mother means establishing goodwill or addressing her concerns before expecting acceptance. A careful modern reading can recognise that relationships often exist within wider networks of care, without treating a daughter as a prize or a parent as the person who grants possession. Family opinions may matter, but the daughter’s judgment remains her own. The useful question is how to communicate respectfully with important people in a partner’s life. The saying does not establish a universal sequence or justify pressure from relatives.

Everyday example

Someone meets a partner’s parent and listens to her concerns while leaving decisions about the relationship with the couple.

When to use it

Use it to discuss respectful attention to a partner’s family.

Agent-assisted editorial interpretation. This explains the words; it does not by itself verify their author or earliest origin.